happy birthday, jesus.

i hope everyone had a very merry christmas.
i'll be leaving for lancaster tomorrow to help out with that niece of mine, Keyona. so everyone stay safe and come back in one piece.


and hey.
"everything's gonna be alright, rockabye."

... just cause.<3

runner runner.

it happens often, obviously, but it's not fun letting people down. especially when you actually are forced to do it, but you just feel too bad. then again, it's just not what you want, and you can't go on pretending to that person. that hurts more in the end. lying doesn't work, ever.
but how do you go about doing all of this? how does that conversation start? do you just go right out and say it? do you start by saying "hey, you're great but..."? or how about the "it's not you, it's me" line? or maybe just avoid that person altogether and hope they see what you're getting at?
so annoying trying to figure it out. but when it's finally out, it's a gigantic relief. it's just... getting to that point that makes it difficult.
blagh. stupid.
quotes? of course (goodness, i should just makes a blog full of quotes *rolls eyes*):


"life takes your dreams and turns them upside down,
friends talk about you when you're not around.
people make promises they just can't keep,
and i've come to realize that talk is cheap.
too often we don't realize what we have until it's gone.
too often we wait too long to say "i'm sorry, i was wrong".
sometimes it seems we hurt the ones we hold dearest to our hearts,
and we allow foolish things to tear our lives apart."


"when it comes down to it, i let them think what they want. if they care enough with what i do, then i’m already better than them." -Marilyn Monroe

hey girl hey!

it's been a while.
but hey, guess what?
i'm still confused. and frustrated. and angry. and upset.
as usual.
so. nothing new. yay.
how about a quote?


"Things are different but the same and I am the same. But different. I want to understand it but I don't. I want to make things right with the people around me, I want to fall asleep with a sense of contentment and wake up with a sense of anticipation, I want I want I want but I won't do anything. I just don't know what to do with myself. These sporadic nights of introspection aren't enough, I need something more than that. Something more solid, something more secure. Something that's not me, something, someone, that has more to offer me than just me. Because I'm not enough. ~ Hail Caesar"

p.s. girl, you're a mess

"in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, the relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make."

ice cream, lots of it.

i hate how i can't do anything.
and then get called ungrateful.
goodness.

did anyone have a good weekend?

live. love. laugh. lemons?

i hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving.
and also that you thanked God for your fabulous family, your stupendous friends, your beautiful house, your awesome education, and anything else that you are just so delighted to have.
well, maybe with a few exceptions. of course.
oh. and for the fact that you're still alive and breathing.
that helps too.

yay for giving thanks.

early again.

i don't like losing friends.
especially when i did nothing wrong,
the circumstances just changed.
for the worst.


asdfjkl;
if you haven't heard "gotta be somebody" by nickelback,
do it now.
it'll change your life. or almost.